A song like yours..

Farewell Journal~

2007-09-28T06:10:50Z

. . MOVED TO: zaijian . .

Review: DBSK - Lovin' You Single

2007-06-13T02:42:13Z

My post today would've been a recap on my day, but since I'm drawing blanks and can't - for the life of me - remember exactly what's been said or done, I figure that it'll come to me later. But, for now, since I'm already here... I might as well get to doing something. Since I'm on this total music review kick on everything I've been listening to lately, I thought that since DBSK's just released - hey, why not. I did one for FT Island, even though they aren't my favorite, so I decided on doing a review for a group that actually is my favorite.

All right. So, here we go.

Release date: June 13, 2007

1. Lovin' You

Okay, then. I've been expecting a ballad all along, but the first thing I pictured the moment this song started playing... was a screen and credits rolling in slow motion. The end of some movie or a TV Drama? -- Not exactly a good thing. I was hoping for the swooning effect my heart usually gets when these guys open their mouths. But instead, I got a repetitive, ongoing, melody that never seemed to end! Although, I must admit -- it did sound very pretty at the beginning, but as time dragged on... so did the song. Not many qualities stood out to me, except, that it probably would've helped if the whole thing was a bit shorter.

In my opinion, JaeJoong's voice sounded stressed and slightly over-exaggerated on some parts. And with the exceptions of a few chord and vocal changes, it all just blended togther until you forget what part of the song you're in. I pray that the translations bring some justice to this track, otherwise, I'm hoping they'll do better the second time around.

The music video, however, is a different review altogether. But let me just say this -- it's not looking too pretty, either.

2. Music Sheet

Hmm, interesting approach they have going on here. The faint echo-effect is noticeable in the very beginning. And though the beats are awkwardly placed in a few places, the tempo and tune could easily be appreciated. This sounds like a song for Summer, when you're on the way home from a long day spent outdoors. Something to wind down to -- not too fast and not too slow, either. And while it is a good song, I can't help but think that this is definitely not one of their best.

Nevertheless, I'd love to see a music video made for this and see what kind of concepts they have in store.

3. Promise (extra NSB mix)

Coming from someone who absolutely loooved the original version of this song, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this remix. The style is a bit strange. A distorted acappella followed by music normally played in lounges or elevators? I just don't see how those two add up. However, when ChangMin sings his part at the beginning of the chorus, the music transitions into something that could be considered quite relaxing. Their voices, yet again, are positively comforting - and when set to a moderately low volume - it even starts to sound soothing.

But regardless, I just don't see why there should be so many remixes to a variety of their singles. Take Choosey Lover, for example. Doesn't that have atleast five different versions?! Maybe I'm exaggerating things - heh, I have a tendancy for doing that sometimes.

Anyways...

OVERALL RATING: 5 out of 10.

Not good, not bad - not all that great, either. Even though their vocals sounded great blending together, the quality of the songs don't particularly amaze me. They're worth sticking on an iPod or a CD, what have you, but not anything that'll be played for more than three or four times in one day. To be quite truthful, I'm slightly disappointed in the outcome of this single. However, I still have faith that they will come out with something better later on.

...

I guess I should make a regular post sometime soon though, for my mind's sake.

Review: FT ISLAND

2007-06-09T20:16:47Z

All right. I've always wanted to do a review about something, but I've never had enough willpower in me to do so. But I think, from now on, I will try my best to make reviews from an observer's viewpoint. And to be completely honest, if not bluntly honest, in my thoughts and opinions. I can understand that people will become offended - but I'd rather be real than a liar. So, without further ado, onto my FIRST review on this new band called FT Island.

These guys are great, even though they're a few years younger. I wouldn't exactly call myself a fan just yet... or if ever. But they're new and I thought it wouldn't hurt to try them out. This review took me over 4 hours to make, but I think it's quite worth it in the end.

1. Saranghalee

So, here’s the beginning track of the whole album. It isn’t bad, actually. The music being played is catchy and Hong Ki’s voice sounds very mature for his age. Had I listened to his voice first before seeing his face, I would’ve initially thought that this guy was way older than a teenager. But I have to give him his credit, even though I do believe that there is always room for improvement. Either way, Hong Ki has this unexplainable skill of getting this song stuck in your head for hours on end.

However, I can’t shake this feeling. It’s almost as though I’ve heard this song somewhere else before. The main melody reminds me of another group who happened to play the same thing, and they’re just borrowing the tune while adding different words to it altogether. Although I have trouble pointing out what song it reminds me of, I absolutely cannot get rid of this nagging thought.

Maybe it’s just me, and maybe I’m just a little too old.

2. Haengbokhapnida

All right, two moderately mid-tempo songs in a row at the start of the album? I can understand the first being somewhat of an introduction, but by the second song, I expect there to be a more upbeat tune to listen to. Something that’ll possibly give the listener a reason to turn up the volume, and enjoy a guitar solo that could even display someone else’s talent. But – no. Instead, a rap was inserted somewhere in the middle and, to me, not only did it sound choppy – it was also a bit awkward to listen to. I had trouble deciding whether I wanted to bob my head, or sway from side to side. So I just opted to sit there and wait until it was over.

Nevertheless, I have to – yet again – give Hong Ki his props for showcasing his singing skills.

But other than that… next song, please.

3. Cheondung

I can’t complain too much. Even though this was yet another mid-tempo song, at least the instrumentals were nice and easygoing on the ears. The verses leading into the chorus was perfectly set, and Hong Ki’s voice just left me hanging onto every note. However, I do feel as though something is missing at the very end. I know they wanted to aim for a dramatic finish, but it just seems incomplete to me.

Regardless, I am stunned by Hong Ki’s ability to hold out his voice, given his age. Vocal training and a strong diaphragm makes a great equation in this case – and hopefully, he’ll continue and become even stronger later in his career.

4. Hansaramman

Now by the fourth song, they’ve spiraled all the way down from mid-tempo songs right into a ballad. And as earlier mentioned – this is only the fourth song! Immediately, this track made me raise an eyebrow due to its unexpected addition to the song. What sounds to me like a… wooden flute? To be quite honest with you – I’m confused. I can’t deny that it isn’t pretty, but it just seemed out of place, really.

Again, the instrumentals were nice and Hong Ki is a great singer. But I’m not ready to go to sleep on them just yet.

5. Jibchak

For the first 17 seconds of this track, I was about to throw in the towel and submit to another mid-tempo/slow song. But I’ll admit – I was completely thrown off when Won Bin started his rapping. And I momentarily believed that maybe, just maybe, the speed will pick up and we’ll have the guitars going like crazy. Sadly, my hopes and dreams were dashed when Hong Ki entered somewhat creating a counter-effect that calms Won Bin’s rap.

Speaking of which… I can’t speak for anyone else, but in my opinion, the rapping started to become flat after awhile. I know he was just trying to keep in sync with the song, but why add in a rap when it’s just going to end up sounding monotonous and angry? Maybe it has something to do with the lyrics, so I’ll wait patiently for the translations.

Now… where was I?

6. Namjaei Cheotsarangeun Mudeomkkaji Ganda

Okay – finally! A song slightly faster than the five I’ve listened to so far. Even though the mood felt a bit unusual in comparison to the other tracks, and was odd to comprehend. Perhaps it’s in relation to their name? FT Island… when you think of Island, does reggae music with a hint of pop come to mind, by chance? ( :D! ) Either way, this song was a relief to hear.

The beats were catchy and, overall, it was a nice change. Since it is Summer time, this would be a great tune to listen to if you were hanging out at the beach, or relaxing by the pool.

7. Hajimalraeyo

What a strange transition. But it’s successful in moving from a mellow paced song such as Track 6, to this one. The main melody of the chorus evokes a feeling that hits straight to the heart. But what I also find strange is how the background vocals stood out the most to me. The blending works superbly with Hong Ki singing as their front man. It almost makes me want to break out the tissues, and shed a few tears. And the lead guitar has a way of stringing you along – I swear it’s addicting.

This song was beautifully composed and is one of my favorites on this album, hands down.

8. FT Island

This was the song they debuted with, right? Truthfully, I wasn’t very fond of it at first. The music felt overwhelming in the beginning. But after few minutes of prepping myself for the song, I decided to give it another go. The second time around, I noticed that their harmonizing came together and built the song so that it reached stronger points. The chanting, however, could’ve been left out since it nearly border lined cheesy.

Other than that, I can honestly say that I found myself enjoying it. But, for the most part, it’s something you should be in the mood to listen to.

9. Reo Reo

There didn’t seem to be much of a difference between this track and FT Island in terms of the mood it brings. In a way, it reminded me of songs pulled from an early 1960’s record – bringing in a tune reminiscent of The Wonders and The Beatles with a modern, new age, twist. It’s quite refreshing and their talents are explored in this fast-paced musical arrangement. I can even appreciate the “La la la”’s since they match the song and keeps the listener active.

I would leave this track on repeat because it helps brighten the atmosphere in many ways. It managed to bring a wide smile on my face, and for a brief moment, I felt like a teenager again.

What can I say? I’m lovin’ it!

10. Primadonna

Now this was the edge I was looking for. But before I move onto my review, I have to compliment the lead guitarist on their plucking skills that took place in the first 20 seconds. And the drum roll afterwards brought such life – it was then I knew that this would surely be a good song. Pop with a touch of punk and ska make for a great combination. I’m just sad that it took nine songs for it to reach this level. Ah, well. As the saying goes – better late than never, no?

Much love goes to the guitar solo that I’ve been waiting ages for. This reveals their talents even further, and Hong Ki finished the song amazingly. The vocals, altogether, were excellent.

Here’s another song that’ll definitely go on Repeat.

11. Majung

There was a feeling of ambience in this particular track. It was soft, it was soothing, it was – for lack of a better word – absolutely lovely. The percussions fit and even brought out the best of the song, second to Hong Ki’s vocals. I played this from start to finish a few times, and I’ve found that aside from a few sharp notes, there were no evident flaws.

This is a track that will bring a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside.

12. Saranghaneun Beopeul Molraseo

What an intense beginning, only to be softened by a sweet voice until the chorus makes an appearance. For a second, I was brought back in time and found faint similarities in “Open Arms” by Journey. Both songs brought the same intensity and passion into their music, even though I have yet to see a translation to this one. That’s only in comparison to feeling, of course. But as for the song itself – you could almost feel the album winding down.

We’re almost reaching to the end here, folks.

13. Cheotkiseu

Here it is – the last, and final, song on the album. And this was a great choice to finish on. The tune was a bit on the repetitive side, but that can be easily overlooked due to the way this song was presented. Once again, I’m happy to compliment them on their harmonizing and overall composition in this song. It’s very laid back, and creates an emotion that warms up the heart. This was another one of my favorites, one I could find myself playing over and over again.

OVERALL RATING: 7 out of 10.

The reason I give this album a 7 is because of the slight disappointment at the beginning. Everything was slow and even-paced, which is something you would expect from a more established group or artist. And the thrills that came with the fast songs felt short-lived. But in each song, their talents were clear and unmistakable, which is incredible considering how old they are. Since they are this at this age – there’s nothing stopping them from improving even further. Not to say they aren’t good now, but hopefully in the future, we’ll see a big difference in comparison to this album.

Honestly, I’m glad I’ve taken the time to listen since these guys are worth listening to. And even though they’re good – I know they can be even better.

But until then…

why don't you just c u t me open. . . (?)

2007-06-05T16:45:32Z

I'm in class.

And dear lord Jeezush, I'm trying SO hard not to hurl. Currently, thanks to the cynical decisions made by my teacher, we're watching a graphic movie on a Cesarean Delivery gone wrong.

So far, the doctor's have already gotten the E.T. (the alien, not the celebrity-based television channel -__-) deformed baby out ... (much as I want to avoid saying this, but -- it looks like an overgrown raisin. o__O Holy.) And the lady's bladder popped out, much to the doctor's surprise. (No shit. I'd be surprised, too!) It's even hanging out and leaking... fluids. Now they're having trouble finding the uterus but will staple everything shut.

That -- can't be good.

Update later, but up next!

A surgical procedure being done on a man's penis.

~~MY EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEES~!!!~~

your face makes me wanna B R E A K somethin'

2007-06-04T20:12:33Z

I just want to say one thing.

I finally understand why we have tailgaters. You know. Those annoying sons-of-bitches whose front bumper always seems to kiss the ass of your own car? The ones that drive SO close - you could practically see their face in your rear-view mirror? Yeah, them.

Well, here, in the sun-shiny part of Southern California ... drivers either go too fast or too slow, in my opinion.

I'm already driving at about 50 miles per hour, but those speedfucks always feel the need to push on the gas, change lanes, and then CUT me off when I was about to make a turn. And this isn't even on the damn freeway!!! Slow down. Because, trust me, wherever you're going isn't that important. And even if it is - then guess what? ... It'll STILL be there.

At this point, I don't CARE how that sounds. I just care about looking after the safety of my own ass.

...

And then there's the driver's who go tooooooooooo slow. They're usually senior citizens who're too bull-headed to just LET GO of their driver's license. But if they're old, I'll give them their respect since in a few more years, the only shred of independance they'll have left is the ability to make it to the bathroom without "spilling". Mean, I know, but I'll be the same damn way if I make it long enough to get dentures.

Now to those who are young and can see the road clearly, and aren't blinded by the sun...?

Either fill your tank with more gas, or get off the road. 'Cause God forbid we drive faster than 20 miles per hour!

Okay, I think that's enough for ranting. Just wanted to get that much out of my system.

:)

when the pieces fall together

2007-06-03T22:10:16Z

Okay. Here's just a re-cap of my past week, hopefully, in single-paragraph form.

After spending a weekend with a swollen foot from an infection I got after stepping on an old rusty needle -- (way to go, Mom) -- I pretty much realized something. Memorial's Weekend was a complete and total bust, and I just prayed that things got better along the way.

MONDAY
Memorial's Day. Lurked inside nursing my wounds, and made a few complaints to the neighbors who have an ungodly urge to slam the door whenever they close it. Why? I don't know. But I've heard them fight a few times (do we have thin walls, or what?) about nonsense like, "YOU ATE THE LAST CHEETO" ... What's with the obsession with cheetos? They're salty and aren't the least bit appetizing, and they leave an orange powder on your fingers making you look like a permanent five-year-old in finger-paint. Now is that attractive? I. Think. Not.

TUESDAY
Oh, this is lovely. After eating some fried fishballs (don't ask. I was hungry, okay?!) -- my stomach started feeling funny. Not ha-ha funny, but, weird and rumbly. Before I had the chance to freak out over the possibilities of me having an alien in my stomach (that'd be pretty cool, now that I think about it.) ... I ended up hurling everything I ever ate into the sink. Yes. The sink. I didn't even have a moment's notice before whirling around and up-chucking my lunch AND breakfast into a dish-filled sink. Sorry Mom.

And if that wasn't good enough, after a good three hours of puking and vomitting liquid and God-KNOWS-what -- I ended up having the runs. If you know what I mean. Huhuhu. Not fun, at all. But that sucks, you know? After all that struggling with my first problem, I have to deal with it again but this time out the other end?! Christ. -__-

WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY
Didn't do much, really. I just tried to recollect myself and find my balance without getting all sick again. Thursday - had to help out at Church with a bunch of homeless people. Key word? Gloves and a shitload of disinfectant. That is all.

FRIDAY
This was our day. ~~Just like every other day of the week. HA!~~

SATURDAY
...

I'm not racist. I'm not out to purposely look down upon anyone's cultural background or ethnicity, but -- there's something that I HAAAATE about a particular race. Okay, so living in California has more cons than pros, in MY opinion. One of them is the close proximity of every apartment since they're practically squished, side-by-side.

Okay. So there was this birthday celebration going on last night. Great, that's wonderful, congrats for surviving another year in this hellhole! But do you honestly have to blast your inane music at FULL volume? Your AYAYAYAYA'S and AAARRRIIIIIBBAA's are NOT appreciated past 10 O'clock at night! >__< *FISTSHAKE* -- Either rent a space away from the neighborhood or re-jump the border if you have to, just STOP disturbing the peace that's needed for others to sleep. My WHOLE night was ruined listening to that sombrero shit our neighbor was blasting.

But my Mom called the police, and around 2 AM -- there was peace once again. Because of that, if she wasn't my Mother -- I'd marry her. But then... EW!

>] Take that.

SUNDAY
Finally, the end of the week - and onto the start of a new one. ~~Shit.~~ The second most scariest thing I've ever seen up to date in my 20 years of life... is to watch an 8 month pregnant lady run. Not to mention, she's my Pastor's wife. I guess reading the Bible isn't the only thing they have in common. x] Huuuu. But good Lord, I hope that baby doesn't turn out having brain damage.

Overall, I think this week was only good because I have someone to keep me sane. And I can't be grateful enough. So thanks for putting up with my grumpiness and ongoing rants that make no sense. And thanks for just seeing me through it all. You're what I call a best friend and more...

Until you crack. x] <3

Note to self: Finish portfolio and complete Surgery Guidelines before June 20th.

& girls just wanna have fun~

2007-05-26T08:48:46Z

Well, I've got GOOD news.

I PASSED MY MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY TEST WITH A 99.3!!!

That was the grade for my overall final. We took the test in two parts, so it wouldn't be too much of a hassle. With words to break down like like bradycardial or cholecystectomy (which would - in hypothetical terms - later result in an hysterectomy. And those were only the VERY easy ones, to name a few) was pretty much how it went. But, I'm happy! I passed. Now it's on to the harder steps. I hope I don't get queasy along the way due to bundled up nerves all twisted up inside. >__< A panic attack is the last thing I need. I don't know why I get so warped up around Finals. Well... that should have been a no-brainer. But, still. I need to learn how to loosen up or something, otherwise, I might suffer a stroke by the time I'm 40. Won't be too long 'till then, will it? Anyway...

I hate my Teacher. Hate her, but love her - I can't decide which outweighs the other. But that sadistic old bat must LOOOVE to torture us with unrrated films of recorded surgeries. On Thursday, right after our test, she pulls out a video and says that she has a great treat for all of us. Here we are - dumb as fducks, I tell you - thinking that we're gonna have the rest of the class to chill and relax after that final. Boy, we were shit wrong. So she pops in the tape, humming cheerfully while tapping her newly manicured nails together, reassuring us that we'd have so much FUN watching this one. Yeah. Okay.

Next thing we know, we see a some guy - someone who works on the telephone poles - being rolled into the emergency room to get operated on. So this dude, we figured, probably injured himself falling down. Like a busted skull or a beat-up spine, or something. Sounded right, didn't it? WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Turns out that he did fall, all right. But the way he landed was a bit... off. Somehow, on the way down, he had hit a branch and - a stick from the branch had broken off along with his fall. That same stick managed to burst through the poor man's pants, stuffing itself like a thick, throbbing ... *cockff* ... RIGHT into the guy's anus. Perfect shot. (My teacher just HAD to yell out: "Bullseye!!! Heheheheee!" as they played a re-enactment of his fall)

Not only that - but the branch pushed past his rectum and right between his internal organs, narrowly missing them. And I mean narrowly. Doctors had to operate him by cutting open his stomach, and rummaging around to find the branch. Apparantly, that damn oversized twig was a liiiittle more than two inches away from puncturing his heart. Right about now, I can figure that the guy is not only grateful for surviving - but I bet you, with everything that I own (not that I own much, anyway), that he's also straight. 'Cause after an experience like that ... WOOO. I doubt the last thing he'd want to say is, "Harder!" x__X I think. Unless he's, you know, into that sort of thing. ~~Freak~~.

I also got my CPR Card today.

The class was brilliant. Our Instructor, Mark, was absolutely hilarious. He made learning CPR fun to do - and frankly - for a three hour class, it was worth every penny. (It was only 30 bucks. HAH.) So, I walked into the class. There were two adult dummies and two infant dummies, with airbags sitting beside them, on the table. I took my seat and started playing with the tubes, and even inserted one into the baby dummy's mouth. Next thing I knew - I turn around and find a wild-haired white man, with nose hairs and crooked teeth smiling down at me like some newly released mental patient. After staring at me intently for a few, stretched-out awkward moments, he chuckled (and when he did that - his nose hairs wiggled. o_O) and called me a baby-killer. So after a second of deciding whether or not I should be offended, he reached over and yanked out the tube ... then used it to wave around like some magic wand.

And for some bizarre reason - the whole class quieted down, and he introduced himself as being the Instructor for the afternoon.

I turned out to be his assistant for the entire day. Worked out in the end, 'cause I got my card - and that's one more less thing to worry about. I can't remember all details from the top of my head (except for the nose-hair wiggling.) ... but when I do, I'll make sure to update again.

And now~

Onto Memorial Day's Weekend!

try. again.

2007-05-17T20:36:30Z

Boy - do I have a doozey of an update.

So, there's this annual blood drive going on at my school. And for some bizarre reason that is beyond my knowledge - I find myself volunteering to take papers and give surveys. Just general questions, you know? If they smoked, if they drank (and how many times), family history of complications pertaining to blood, what they had to eat this morning (not that I cared or anything. food is food.), if they've been outside the country in the last year (since, apparently, there are just some places you can't go to! like Mexico ... *dies*) - pretty easy stuff. Plus... it got me out of class, so regardless, I was all for it!

The nurses did their thing on the other side of the room - while I watched every victim shuffle their way into the little cubicles to be laid down. It was like watching an animal get their yearly shot, for the most part. Others ... just looked like an animal getting shot down. Why sign up for this anyway if you have a phobia of needles, is what I wanna know. I think getting over your fears should come gradually. Not on the spot where everyone can see you - unless you're on Fear Factor, and in that case, you're just setting yourself up for failure in MY opinion. But if you like the whole do-or-die thrill thing... then be my guest. Just don't overstay your welcome, damn bum.

Anywayyy.

This skinny 97 lbs stick came in shaking so much, I swear I could hear her bones rattling. Her eyes were darting around like she was on speed - and she kept making this annoying chattering noise with her teeth. I was SO close to just showing her the door, when the nurse told me that she was the right weight and had no signs of anemia. What - are you kidding me? This chick was on the verge of a TOTAL meltdown and looked like you could see a pea go down her stomach if she swallowed one. And they wanted to take her blood? With what?! -- A straw?! Well anyway, if I couldn't kick her out, might as well break out the popcorn and watch.

The second they even BROUGHT a needle close to her skin - she literally fell. From the bed, to floor - just fell. While everyone tried to get her back onto the bed ... I was just wondering if she broke a bone. That was a pretty nasty fall for a drama queen, just so you know. And if that wasn't bad enough - she started crying. I mean, the WORKS. Boo-hoo'ing and wailing for her Mother, who probably shipped her out've their home in Malibu to begin with, and just had a complete breakdown. So, they tried for a second time - once they got her approval and she was "all better" - what boggles me the most is why on God's green earth would they even believe her?! Because the minute she even saw the damn needle - she fuh-reeaaakked!!! (freaked. yeah? trying to mix it up a bit. <.<)

Oh, and this is the beautiful part.

It wasn't even the needle to withdraw a pint of blood. You know - the four-inch one? It was the needle used to check if her blood level was acceptable. That itty-bitty one that pricks your finger, and only little kids freak out over if they see it. So, forgive me. But I can't be the least bit sympathetic over something that small and trivial. Especially when the whole ordeal was made into some over-the-top finale to a daytime soap opera. Stupid, but amusing overall. She ended up not giving blood (surpriiise) but atleast she got a sticker for trying.

When you really think about it - it's all psychological. The human heart pumps gallons upon gallons of blood everyday ... what's one little pint gonna hurt? I'd give blood, but I've got a type of hemolytic anemia. They wouldn't want my blood even if I had money floating out've my crack. But anyway, sure, you might feel a little dizzy or light-headed (Did I mention that another girl in my class almost passed out after giving blood? All her fault. She moved around too much, too soon. =_=;) but food and drinks are given at the end. Not some cheap two-cent cookies found under some homeless guy's torn up newspaper, either. Waffles and fruit juice, and candy were distributed with some CD's and pins saying: "I gave blood!" or "I save lives."

Which, to me, was still kinda cheap 'cause if you drop it ... the whole thing falls apart. What a cheat, huh?

Anyway, I've learned that whenever a person has fainted or is about to faint, it's best to lift their feet onto a chair so their blood could circulate properly and return color to their skin again. And don't give them water, because then it'll cause an imbalance and, unless you enjoy the smell and stench that comes with vomit, they'll barf everywhere. I just thought that was interesting.

Uh, dealing with rude attitudes and random dizzy-spells aside ... it wasn't such a bad experience. The lead nurse we had was a sweet lady that always had a wise-crack or two to say. So, needless to say, it was pretty fun.

And my teacher has such sick stories that she always feels the need to share. After being in the Medical field for over 20 years, I can't exactly say I'd blame her. I'm starting to believe she's some sort of twisted sadist. o_O Just a thought. Today, she told us of how she saw some poor man who had a deteriorating lung from lung cancer (obviously) die on the parking lot, after recieving some sort of laser treatment. Apparently, the laser went too far in and burst a vein somewhere near his heart which caused blood to spill out from EVERY orifice of his body. His ears, eyes, mouth, nose, penis and rectum were literally spilling blood. The firemen nearby who were called had to shut down three important streets because the blood had spread down onto the concrete, since the place where he had fallen was at a slant. The guy died at the end, and what's even worse, was that his own family didn't even know that he had cancer in the first place. Must've been really sad once they found out.

Well, as I've said. This was one doozey of a post ... and I'll probably get bored if I tried reading it, too. But, yeah, this was my day. And it'll be back to studying again soon.

Sigh.

~~I can't wait 'till tonight~~.

brushin' off the dust

2007-05-16T06:12:50Z

Jesus.

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Changed the layout. Again. And I thought it would be a good idea since it features the only man I'll truly love and respect, even moreso as a Muse. Cheesey, I know. But atleast I've got a damn good reason to change my layout. It's cute. Simple. I like it. Anyways ... ahhh, I can't help it. The guy's more active in my brain than my brain itself. It's - kinda scary sometimes. I'll walk into a music store with intentions of ONLY browsing around, and maybe peek at a few indie bands. But after I leave the store and look in my bag - I come to find that I've bought some Rap or HipHop CD (yes, CD. bite me, IPOD lovers.) without even realizing it. And I don't even like HipHop ... and I despise the majority of Rap music these days. (This is why I'm Hot? - No. Air Conditioner, you twat.) But he loves it, and I can't exactly, for the life of me - figure out why. So, I just stopped trying. Other Muses also reside in my brain, as well. But you guys know that feeling.

I'm tired.

School has tuckered me out. All this reading and writing, and researching. Not to mention - I have to pay for CPR classes which range from $30 - $50 dollars. Apparently, it's a requirement for my class. Otherwise ... I won't be able to graduate. (GASP!) But given my tight budget for this month, it's a hard decision between eating ... or starving for the next two weeks to get the money. Hmmm. Yep, I opt for brain surgery at this point. Not to mention, the books that I need to buy for my Nationwide Exam will cost close to TWO HUNDRED dollars. $200! Just where am I going to get all that cash?! I can't get a job yet either, because I need to finish this course first. So - I'm pretty much stuck in a predicament here.

Grrrreeeaaat.

Um, yeah. Sleep. Now. I feel my body functions slowing down. Especially my main ability to have everything I say make sense.

I'll update later.

It's not over yet, kiddies. >:]

... in with the new

2007-04-06T07:22:52Z

That rant you saw, if you people were able to catch in the first place - remember that? If you're wondering where it went, then I'll tell ya. No, I didn't delete it in fear that I needed save my own ass. I put it under private-lock so that only my eyes could see it. Looking back on it now, I realize why they call such entries 'rants'. Rants are basically made from spur-of-the-moment steam that needed to be released. And since that's what journals are for, I did decide to make the post. No regrets about it, either. I can see why I made it as well -- and since I understand, maybe it's time to explain why I understand.

I don't like to be duped or played like I'm some kind of a fool. I think I atleast a deserve a head's up, or a warning on what's going on. Because -- ooh, surprise! -- I do give a rat's ass. And for more than just my request, if that wasn't already known. ~~Even though it should have been.~~ And though I wish things didn't turn out the way they did -- guess what. They did. There's nothing any of us could do about it, either. But to just put it behind us and whatever. I got what I needed in the end, anyway. Okay. Not going to concentrate on anything petty and just be grateful that someone did come to the 'rescue' and helped out with something that I do consider important to me. Letting it go now and making more breathing space.

So, yay.

I've been studying like a maniac these past few weeks. Tests have been coming so frequently lately that I find myself forgetting what chapter I'm on, or what information I need to work on memorizing. I guess this will all prepare me for the huuuge State Exam coming up around September. Now, think about it. It's only -- what. April? And here I am, already freaking out about some test that'll take place in a few months. I don't think I'd worry this much if it weren't for the fact that the test costs (get this) THREE HUNDRED bucks to take. And if you fail it the first time, well, sucks for you! Yeah. I like how that system works. (/Sarcasm)

Oh, and I can't believe the pile of books I need to buy after Spring Break Ends. Did I mention? Yeah~ I'm on Spring Break. And you know what I'm going to do..?

Sleep.

And then study some more because my dear, dear, teacher took the liberty of providing us with seven day's worth of work to do over this short holiday. Lovely, no?

Now... about those books. 70 bucks for my second set, not to mention the medical crap that'll be needed on the side. I'm atleast expecting to rake up a nice debt of over 52465754210054 dollars. Okay. I'm exaggerating -- but still. That's a LOT of money. And it doesn't help that I'm poor at the moment. Speaking of poor -- I was supposed to go out tonight with a bunch of my classmates, because three of them are having birthday's within the month. But I unfortunately had to decline because of previous agreements. Plus! I have no money. Oh, well. I hope things don't get too out of hand especially since this one chick I know is going... and she can get pretty crazy. Maybe I'll give them a few calls sometime this week to check if they're still alive or not.

Other than school, I've pretty much kept my usual routine. And the-nameless-one still knows the deal. Yeah? *Heart*

Anyways~ I need to finish something that I promised to do. I won't flake out.

let's play poke the waitress!

2007-02-20T05:54:55Z

Today was lots 'n lots of fun.

A dear, dear friend of mine from highschool came down from Las Vegas for a visit this weekend. I'm glad I got to see him today. We've been through a lot of ups and downs in our life, starting from the day we met in freshman year of highschool. Yeah. That was an experience. Shivering out in the Autumn morning while waiting for our P.E. instructors to come out from their toasty-warm desks inside the building. We shook hands, exchanged noises of rattling teeth, and awkward smiles. Now we run about screaming and laughing at the top of our lungs, while people sit back and wonder if we're either mentally unstable -- or high school students. And granted, I look like a fifteen year old, while he looks even younger, it doesn't take them too long to make an assumption. Bah! But enough of memory lane...

My friend Ana (myfair_juliet) and I went to go out to our favorite Tofu House, along with Edwin. (My dear high school friend? Yeah. Him. His name is Edwin. :D) The place was busy, which was strange, considering that it's Monday night. But then I have to remember -- this restaurant's pretty darn popular. And I don't blame it. The food is to die for. Well... maybe not die for, but definitely worth losing a limb. Like a pinky, or something. So, after causing a stir with our loud laughter (again) we tried getting the attention of the two waitresses who were passing by. (Since, Ana & Edwin both wanted to order soda. I was happy with my plain water.) It's understandable that they didn't hear us at first, since, they were sooo busy greeting new customers. But I finally stole the opportunity to do so when one waitress (We call her the "nice one" ... and cute. Yes, she's very cute. ^^) stood by my seat, rubbing her eye.

Timidly, I reached out and poked her on the shoulder, in weak attempt to catch her attention. She jumped back in surprise, bumped into a customer who was walking by, and we all ended up in a fit of giggles. We joked and played like old friends for a moment (You must remember, Ana and I are regulars at this joint. They see at least once a week. As I've said -- the food is good!) -- then they ordered their drinks, and we were back to business with our eating. So yeah, Edwin updated me on the 'drama' that's been going on between our old high school buddies. But honestly, I don't hang around them anymore simply because I was sick of their childish antics in high school. And guess what? I'm STILL sick of it. We graduated. End of story, kthx.

Ahhh, going back on subject -- we went ahead to Tapioca Express (a boba place) and got some drinks. But on the way there, my friend started playing some loud rock music that involved ... falling off a rooftop, or something -- and drove even faster. So, in the spur of the moment -- I unbuckled my seatbelt, rolled down the window, and stuck half of my body out the window. Again, I was back to screaming at the top of my lungs and even spat my gum out. (Even though it was melon-flavored and yummy. ._.) My hair was everywhere, and I was breathing hard... and Ana said that I looked like I "just had sex."

Yum.

So, we reached said Boba place, met up with Jean (the girl who took Edwin home. Another good friend of ours) and -- of course -- had some boba. I had a strawberry-banana smoothie with boba. (Perhaps not the greatest mix after having a bowl of extra-spicy bean paste tofu.) And I felt like my WHOOOLE mouth was getting a workout since I was sucking so hard just to get those damn gooey balls of goodness into my mouth!!! But either way, it was good.It's been an hour since Ana dropped me off. And even though we were gone for a total of 2 hours and 50 minutes, I'm already tired. Then again, I have school tomorrow morning, and I have to get up at around 6 AM. Ughhh, I don't want to go to school. >__

nobody knows the trouble I feel .. nobody knows my sorrow

2007-02-09T22:43:51Z

I am plain tired. Dead beat. Exhausted .. and over what? Absolutely nothing. That's the sad part.

Okay, so updates on my life as of right now - I just finished out my first week at school. It was pretty casual, but I'm sure the seriousness will kick in later as I expect it should. But for now, I think I'm doing pretty well. So far, so good. Erm.. I atleast figured out what the pain in my stomach was. It started off as a mere muscle pain .. a miniscule red dot lurking at the bottom of my stomach. But as time went by, and the days rolled on, the slight twinges of pain became nearly unbearable. And when I looked down - I was completely blown away by what I saw. What used to be two small pimples had suddenly turned into these MASSIVE lumps that spread nearly halfway across my stomach. And then the pain.. Ugh! I could best describe it as a burning sensation that felt agonizing to even the lightest of touches. In a matter of days, I was suddenly reduced to small and carefully calculated steps. And tasks, such as moving down to sit, was practically intolerable. I'd wake up every morning with that sharp sting, and winced at every movement I made. So I ended up trying to resist moving altogether, as much as I could. ~~Stupid father never made anything easy, of course~~. I came up with a brilliant idea a few short moments after discovering this pain. And I must admit, it was rather ingenious, if I do say so myself..

Without a second to spare, I shuffled over to my parents room and did what most children would do in situations such as this -- I bit my bottom lip, and called out for my Mommy.

Now .. let's rewind for a minute.

Here I am, what society would call a 'full grown adult' at age twenty .. fully capable of caring for myself, and wiping my own butt. But there I stood, leaning helplessly against the doorway, with tears in my eyes whimpering like an infant that needed a diaper change. Some might call this embarrassing, and even downright insulting to my appearance as an independant person - but to hell with them! I needed help, and I was going to get it in any way that I could.

So, after some brief examination of this enormous mass, she basically judged the entire thing to be a furuncle turned carbuncle. A carbuncle, kiddies, is pretty much an enlarged version of a boil. Now -- do we all know what a boil is? Here, let me show you an example. Just click the link. It'll only take a second, I promise .. :

http://img50.imageshack.us/img50/7096/r7carbuncleoh0.jpg

A brief description taken from medline plus --

A furuncle (boil) is a skin infection involving an entire hair follicle and nearby skin tissue.

Furuncles are very common. They are caused by staphylococcus bacteria, which are normally found on the skin surface. Damage to the hair follicle allows these bacteria to enter deeper into the tissues of the follicle and the subcutaneous tissue. Furuncles may occur in the hair follicles anywhere on the body, but they are most common on the face, neck, armpit, buttocks, and thighs.

Furuncles are generally caused by Staphylococcus aureus, but they may be caused by other bacteria or fungi. They may begin as a tender, red nodule but ultimately feel like a water-filled balloon. A furuncle may drain spontaneously, producing pus. More often the patient or someone else opens the furuncle.

Furuncles can be single or multiple. Some people have recurrent bouts with abscesses and little success at preventing them. Furuncles can be very painful if they occur in areas like the ear canal or nose. A health care provider should treat furuncles of the nose. Furuncles that develop close together may expand and join, causing a condition called carbunculosis.

------

In other words .. it's disgusting and HUGE, and possibly the most painful thing aside from seeing that geeky child pick his nose in the back of your classroom. Oh, not to mention - mine probably looks exactly like the one in the picture I just showed you. Just -- less hairy and disgusting to look at. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeowch. And I had to go to school with that.

Anyway, moving onto more current status.. the past week was spent whining and complaining ( Apparently, I've come to discover that I only have a medium to low amount for pain tolerance. Pshh. Ah well, you can't win them all. ) while my mom bandaged, drained, and took care of my overall health. She's been really understanding and I'm very grateful to her ~~and not my stupid Father~~. As for my progress? Well .. the swelling went down a bit. The 'carbuncle' is still there. I even took the liberty of naming it Fred even though it still hurts like all hell. I believe that it's finally started to drain out all the pus on its own now, and it must be healing slowly since it's starting to feel all itchy. That's always a good thing, right? Well.. aside from being tired all the time. ( Also, fatigue seems to be one of the side-effects. Damn. )

Mmm, I'd also like to thank someone else. Without your excrutiatingly loud voice ringing in my ear to distract me from the pain, I wouldn't know what to do with myself! :D So, yay. Wuvs to you.

With that being said, I think this is where I will end my update.

'Till next time!

( God. Ignore the cheesiness. -__- )

Welcome, one and all..

2006-07-06T07:25:18Z

The name's Lin. Just Lin, and nothing more.. well.. there IS more, according to my birth certificate. But I prefer to be called Lin. Nineteen going on twenty, but that's nothing new. What counts most is that I make it up to 21 -- and the years after, well, we'll see about that. At the moment, I'm kinda confused on what to do with my life. I mean, I've taken a few years off after highschool to work.. but.. now I wanna go BACK to school. And I still don't know what to major in. *Ahhh, well.*

For the time being, I might have a spot on an internship training for a clerical position in a company. Hope that goes well.. my interview is on Friday. THIS Friday. SOMEBODY WISH ME LUCK!!! ..Anyone?

Baah.

So right now, I'm just kicking back. I took a nap after coming home from work, so now I'm wide-awake and unable to sleep.. and I've just been browsing through some Korean songs. I'm really, REALLY, new to the Koreanpop/music scene, though. Since all I've been listening to is either Chinese or Japanese.. and the occasional filipino. (All of the above are mixin' through my veins, babeh.) But after watching a few dramas (Does everybody HAVE to die?! T_T) I'm really starting to enjoy it.

And I've always wanted to be a linguist, too. My tagalog, however, is pretty bad. To the point where it's embarassing. BUT--I try to talk whenever I can just to get some practice. Still.. I wanna learn more.

I can't believe how busy life has gotten. With my Aunt.. and my family in general. It's all one big crisis. But we'll pull through somehow. We have to. Otherwise, what hope will be left for us to believe in? It's hard to be strong when you're not.. but I'm not going to be all negative about it. I've got a big smile, and a big heart, and a big a--.. well, let's not go there. (XD!)

My name is Lin. Nice to meet you.

- Lin.